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A Capuchin priest, Fr. Martin Pable has worked with many men suffering from post abortion pain. He notes that some men do not "admit it as a moral issue" but there are others who are grieving but can't/won't talk about it until it reaches a certain point. "For a long time, you may have given no more thought to it [the abortion] than you would to the latest oil change in your car. But late, for whatever reason, the memory has come back to haunt you.  Whatever the triggering experience might be (a retreat, a homily, the birth of a child/grandchild or a discussion with the guys over a few drinks)... "Your task is neither to berate yourself for your moral failures or to makes excuses and rationalizations. You simply tell the story. What was your age and marital state at the time? What led to the decision for abortion? What was your part in the decision?  How did you feel afterward? In what ways, if any, did the abortion affect your subsequent behavior? How did it affect your relationship with the woman? How did it affect your relationship with God and your religious practice?"