For hope and healing after abortion

Finally Granting Myself Forgiveness

As I sat in the dimly lit church, awaiting my turn to go to confession, I felt ashamed and humbled. I couldn’t wait to relieve my soul of this burden and receive forgiveness. When I finally entered the confessional and told the priest of my sin, I was shocked and shaken. His words have burned in my mind for over 30 years. “”My child, you have committed the most horrible sin ever and I cannot forgive you.” Yes, I had an abortion!

At 39 years old and never having a child of my own, I was totally devastated and as I sat crying in the church, all I wanted to do was die. I lived with this memory for over 30 years before I found peace and forgiveness and am finally able to forgive myself.

Eventually, I pulled myself together and changed my life. I started thinking more of others and less of my self and my needs. I married man with three children and my life was renewed and more fulfilling that I could imagine. Yet, I still had this ache in my heart and could not forgive myself- until I found Project Rachel. A day with sympathetic and knowledgeable women and a non-judgmental priest gave me the courage to forgive myself. This priest told me that my incidents with other priests when I needed their help most was like suffering “malpractice”. You may remember that in my experience, the priest said “I” cannot forgive you – not GOD! I missed the message that GOD was sending and suffered needlessly for almost 30 years. He gave me a wonderful husband and children to love. He brought me back to my family and my faith and yet I could not see clearly how much GOD loves me and that he has forgiven me. Thank you ladies of Project Rachel for helping me to understand and finally grant myself forgiveness.